Asking for Advice for Ashla
Posted on: January 2, 2009
- In: anxiety & depression | detox | medication side effects | psychiatric medication | rehab | subutex | Valium | withdrawal | Xanax
- 20 Comments
I received a comment today, and I am not sure how to best answer it.
I was hoping community members may be able to better give advice than I.
Here is Ashla’s comment:
i am new here and i am very nervous, i have big problems , i found out i was pregnant two mths ago or two and half , we didnt know if we would keep it, i got stressed , found valium, i was on valium low dose for about four or five weeks, stopped for two days, decided we want the baby i am 38 but now i want the baby, i had to get an hiv test and freaked out as i am an addict, embarrased to say, i havent used iv in yrs but havent had a test either, i am also on subutex which is a no no with benzos , i am also on probation, when i had to get my hiv test i freaked and bought benzos xanax and was taken one to two mgs for about two weeks now, i took my last today, and i am scared, i am afraid i will have a seizure or something, and the baby will die, if i tell the obgyn i am addicted , they may try to put me in rehab , then probation finds out, also the subutex dr will, i have been on low dose benzo for about two mths and a week now, i dont know what to do, i have been so freaked out reading on the internet for days and that is all i do worrying about this, i bought valerian root mellanonin today and gabba today to help me tomorrow, i am really scared and have noone to turn to sorry for being so long winded ashla
It’s in cases like this I wish I were a doctor or a psychologist.
We are on your side, Ashla.
Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated by Ashla, I’m sure.
20 Responses to "Asking for Advice for Ashla"
January 3, 2009 at 10:07 am
Ashla,
Please share everything with a doctor that you trust. You and your baby will benefit immensely!
You will be in my prayers. Sending positive thoughts your way!
January 3, 2009 at 1:49 pm
thankx i am so far through day one the valerian actually has me extremely calm and maybe the gaba also, i have laid in bed alot today and watched tv, only withdrawal so far is nauseau but i think the pregnancy is doing that, and a slight headache, but i also quit caffeiene , so maybe since i was on low dose it wont be so bad, as for the subutex studies are showing now it is better for babies less withdrawal, i am not worried so much about the subutex as the benzo i quit drinking about two mths ago when i found out i was pregnant, and i am down to three cigs a day, i will keep you all informed
January 3, 2009 at 5:00 pm
ok i made it through today and believe it or not i am tired so i think i will be able to sleep. i dont know if it cuz i am taking valerian or cuz i was only on small dose, for two mths, or that god is watching over me, maybe all thankyou i will let you know how i am tomorrow
January 4, 2009 at 8:54 am
hi it is me i am half way done day two of this, i am not panicy just feeling very weak, and nauseaus yet so far. i know this will take a few days or more but i am feeling surprised at my courage so far, i can drive two blocks up the road and buy valium but i want this done, i dont know if i am physically addicted really, i think because i have been reading so many horror stories this maybe giving me this affect, i am watching myself though , looking at my hands seeing if they are shaking, so far no shakes, no heart palpitations, no shocks or ear ringing, like i said mild heacache(could be from quitting coffee also) , and the nauseu but i think maybe xanax held that of sometimes and being pregnant i am always sick so, just wish me luck all, i hate drugs they just ruin your life , i look at normal people(people who dont have to use drugs to live) and just wish so bad that was me, i will post more of my symptoms if i get anymore so if anyone has any advice for me let me know, my obgyn knows all they say is quit, so i am doing that , ashla
January 4, 2009 at 3:55 pm
hi i am almost done day two, i was fatigued alot today but couldnt rest, i finally told my bf the truth he is mad at me. so i cried alot tonite, but i also felt the baby move tonite for a while and it calmed me down alot, i have no physical symptoms now except fatigue, headache is gone, but i am concerned i might not sleep well tonite after stress with bf, i dont blame him, this is his baby to
January 4, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I am proud of you for confiding in your boyfriend. It’s very important, in my opinion, not to have secrets between a couple.
Please talk to your doctor, too. You owe it to the baby and to yourself.
Your doctor will suggest the best next step for you.
Keep the faith.
January 5, 2009 at 4:19 am
Hi ashla – listen to HSP woman – she’s guided you well so far.
Share everything with your bf & doctor & anyone else that you think can help you. It’s the only way.
Thinking of you…
January 6, 2009 at 2:06 pm
hi i am now on day five and will say that it wasnt so bad, but i dont want to do it again, the thing that bothered me so much was how everything was so big , so real , so loud, so smelly, lol i feel a little loopy yet loud noises kind of made me jump, but i hated this stupid drug and i wanted of, and i wasnt on to long, if i was on longer , yes i would have wanted tapering, but my doc just said stop and i did (the obgyn) i felt guilty for smoking a little to much during this, but i am gonna start watching that starting tomorrow, i felt bad also not eating much so i have started trying a little more every day, i even drank a pint of milk today, i cleaned my whole apartment, which from being on the benzos was disguisting cuz i was so lazy and didnt care, i still have the phone of the hook and not really going outside but to throw garbage out, but i feel better alot, thankyou all
January 6, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Ashla,
You seem like a different person! Your last comment seems hopeful. I am so glad. And, so proud of you for talking to your doctor.
Great work.
January 6, 2009 at 2:13 pm
But, please eat. Eat anything you can get down. Nutrients are so important when you’re in a drug-withdrawal.
January 10, 2009 at 7:12 am
hi just a quick notesay thanks for helping me, i am now on day eight , i feel much better and i actually threw away the supplements now not knowing if they will also hurt the baby, yesterday was a bit of a test for me as i went to do my volunteer work, i used to always take an extra pill when i did this, and i got through it, i also had to drive by the lady up the street where i used to buy the pills , i almost stopped because she owes me a few , and i didnt i drove by and got home i had a bit of anxiety but i got through it, and woke up this morning smiling and my heart wasnt beating as fast as it usually does, so i am getting better smiles thanks ashla
January 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Hi Ashla 
I am so proud of you for doing your volunteer work! Volunteering is one of my greatest passions. I see it’s a value of yours, too.
It’s okay to be anxious and still do the stuff we love. If we wait to feel perfect before we do things that matter to us, well… then we’ll never do anything.
About the woman down the street: SCREW her. She is a murderer who could care less about you, your baby, or any of the other people she sells drugs to.
Forget about the few she owes you. Forget about her. Focus on your health, your pregnancy, your boyfriend.
I am happy you are waking up with less anxiety now. That’s a good sign.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Never look back. Choose to love yourself and your new family more than anything.
January 14, 2009 at 7:50 am
Find someone you trust who knows something about medicine – doctor, nurse, whoever, and tell them everything. It’s the help your baby needs, as do you.
Be well.
February 6, 2009 at 5:22 am
I would advise the pregnant woman to do whatever she can to ensure the best health of the fetus-to-be-baby. If put in rehab, remember it will be for a short time.
You don’t want a lifetime of guilt from a preventable birth defect if the fetus comes to term.
February 7, 2009 at 5:43 am
This is an amazing, amazing blog. I have suffered with anxiety, panic and depression for over 25 years and so glad to find this.
My advice to Ashla would be to talk to your OB GYN. Good luck, my dear.
May 20, 2009 at 6:40 pm
It’s now quite a few months since these posts, and I came across Ashla’s plight while doing searches on how the brain works, with and without medication. I think there was good, kind advice given here. Hopefully you have passed your crisis and are centered and happier in your pregnancy.
High anxiety is the hardest thing on you and your baby. Harder on you than the drugs themselves. If you have found a doctor you can trust, and have told him/her everything, hopefully all is well.
If you are still having trouble keeping clean, the worst thing you can do it beat yourself up over it. The best thing you can do with that anxiety is to use it as energy to find the right clinic. The knowledgable ones are humane and do not have judgement against you. It’s important to be OK with yourself. You are doing your best for you and your baby and sometimes we all need professional help. I’m not pregnant, but I did have 4 surgeries after a whole lot of different severe pain from accidents. Before the surgeries I found ways to self medicate, after surgeries I was on pain pills for so long I was afraid I was an addict. Turns out I’m not. I’m still on them with the help of a good pain management clinic, weaning off. I get severe anxiety, but they help in a humane way so I can work and live my life.
Another key to my continued success is somatic therapy. If you haven’t heard of it, just google it. Depending on your initial source of anxiety, it could really help.
And then, there’s always good old “Rescue Remedy”, the Bach flower essence. Homeopathy. That one is for anxiety, but you can just go to a health food store and look at all the homeopathic products. Self explanatory, and they’re good for the baby, too. If you aren’t familiar with homeopathy, google it. You can get it at any health food store, and some supermarkets, too.
May 24, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Where are you and how are you doing? I started on a tiny bit of xanax after the death of my most beloved freind in Nov and was hooked in a few weeks! I am just beginning my valium taper and could use some good advice. I feel very encouraged with your success and healing!
Comments are closed.
January 2, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Ashla,
What about using methadone instead of subutex while pregnant? A cursorial internet search repeated says, better none, but better methadone than subutex.
Also, my advice is to please, please tell your OB/GYN everything. This is just too important not to share with him/her.
Please, take care of yourself and your fetus.
Don’t panic. Just take one step at a time.
My prayers are with you.